2002-06-18, 1:19 p.m.
Sometimes writing letters and going on protests gets boring, and we want to do something a little more fun and creative. In that respect, I submit the following "call to action" ...
For this month's Creative Protest action-drive, we're committing Interactive Performance Art in honor of the Alleged President's birthday, July 6th:
Mail a gift-wrapped banana or banana-themed item to the White House, to arrive on or near July 6th 2001.
(I realize this is rather childish and stupid, but as the media seem to appreciate childish and stupid acts moreso than serious dissenting voices such as the May 19th VoterMarches, it's my hope that such a grand futile gesture will capture the attention of the Human-Interest departments flacks.)
Why bananas? Bananas are becoming symbolic of the Bush administration, we believe: to wit, the distinctly banana-republic conduct of the Republican party concerning the Florida election dispute, and the oft-noted resemblance of George W. Bush to a monkey.
Do not deface the bananas! I know we're all still mad, but the purpose of this Action is the mystery of the White House suddenly receiving great numbers of gift-wrapped bananas for no easily discernible reason. For this same reason, we also ask that you do not send explicitly political or insulting notes or cards with the bananas. (He is at least nominally a human being, and it's his birthday, so however much you may dislike him, it's still not nice to be mean to people on their birthdays; if you'd still like to send a note, please do so after July 6th, when hopefully all the bananas will be in and the staff will still be scratching their heads over it all.)
Packages may be addressed to:
George W. Bush
The birthday in question is Friday, July 6th, so for all the gifts to arrive together, we strongly suggest mailing them on Friday, June 29th. A day or so either way might not hurt if you can't get to the Post Office just then, but please do not mail any more bananas after Tuesday, July 3rd.
I know this sounds a little silly, but it makes me laugh so I'm going to join in with it.
"Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation." - Martin Luther King, Jr.